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The current year signifies a full decade since the word “vanishing” hit the public consciousness. Back then, the idea that someone could abruptly cease contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, finding a mate has only become more bewildering – an commonly pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more bizarre, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a detailed glossary to the terms Zoomers is using to navigate love, sex and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For Zoomers, romance's ideal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A social media test inspired by a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while oozing mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means seeking out someone who supports you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Personal habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, bad tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks validate your choice to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group many young men is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly kill any sense of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {